Just one small step.

I haven’t restarted my exercise program for I fear that I may be headed straight into another attack. I’ve woken up the last few mornings with an achey face, and jaw. This usual means I am going to experience pure hell very soon.

I think the anxiety of waiting for it to strike again may be just as bad as the illness itself. This causes me a lot of stress, I’m on edge, and cranky. It’s like closing your eyes, and waiting for someone to hit you. Sometimes they do sometimes they don’t, and not knowing or being able to see it coming is torture. That’s the best way I can describe it anway.

This is just one of the many areas in my life that I have had to change the way I respond to. Before I suffered with my condition when stressed, or anxious I would put on my favorite face mask, and take a nice long bath. Well both the heat from the bath, and the face mask have become triggers. My safety net was snatched, and that was extremely hard. I won’t lie my mental health suffered while my stress levels remained dangerously high. I have since found other ways to relax, and calm my mind when in over drive. While not as effective as my original chosen method they are helping a great deal.

Yesterday was one of those days, my mind was running in circles, I was just waiting for the pain to strike while praying it didnt.While I couldn’t talk myself into a workout I did make one small step. I completed my step goal of 3000 steps while grocery shopping, and I had a salad for dinner. It’s not much, but it’s a small step.